Is Therapy Right for Me? Take This Self-Assessment

You're scrolling through Instagram at 11 PM, watching therapists say everyone needs therapy for basically existing. Your friend keeps suggesting you "talk to someone." Your partner thinks it might help. But you're genuinely unsure if therapy is the right step for you, or if what you're experiencing is just... you know, part of life.

If you've ever felt this uncertainty, you're not alone. Therapy has become both more accessible and more confusing. Everyone seems to have an opinion, but it's hard to figure out if it's right for you, right now, based on what you're actually experiencing.

That's what this post is for.

What you'll learn here:

• A 5-minute quiz that gives you an honest assessment (no email required, results are private)
• The 7 clear signs it's time to talk to a therapist
• When you don't need therapy (yes, that's a thing)
• What to do if you can't afford therapy
• Answers to the most common questions about starting therapy

Here's the thing: Therapy isn't just for people in crisis. It's also not for everyone all the time. This self-assessment will help you understand where you're at and whether therapy might be a helpful next step.

Take the Self-Assessment: Is Therapy Right for Me?

This quiz takes about 5 minutes and asks 15 questions about how you're coping with daily life. Your results are completely private—no email required, nothing is stored or tracked.

What makes this quiz different:

• Created by a registered psychotherapist (CRPO) based on clinical experience with 500+ clients
• Honest scoring that won't try to sell you on therapy if you don't need it
• Includes what to do with your results (not just a number)
• Strength-based questions (not pathologizing or diagnosis-focused)

Beyond the Quiz: 7 Signs Therapy Might Be Helpful

Quizzes are helpful, but here's what I actually look for when someone asks me this question in a consultation. These are the patterns I see in clients who tend to benefit most from professional support.

Sign #1: You're Using This Phrase A Lot: "I'm Fine"

You tell everyone you're fine. Your partner asks if you're okay—"I'm fine." Your friend notices you've been quiet—"I'm fine." Your boss asks if the workload is manageable—"I'm fine."

But you're not fine. You're exhausted. You're anxious. You're barely holding it together.

What's actually happening: You're minimizing your struggles because you think they're not "bad enough" to matter. You compare yourself to people who have it worse and tell yourself you should just be grateful.

The trap: "Everyone has stress, I'm fine" becomes your default response, even when you're having panic attacks in the Target parking lot.

When this suggests therapy: If you're constantly explaining away your feelings or minimizing your experiences, therapy can help you recognize that your struggles are valid—even if someone else has it "worse."

Sign #2: Your Coping Strategies Aren't Working Anymore

A few months ago, going for a run would clear your head. Meditation helped you sleep. Talking to your best friend made you feel better.

Now? Nothing works.

You can't get motivated to exercise. Meditation makes you more anxious. You don't even want to burden your friends with what you're going through. You're relying more on numbing strategies—binge-watching TV, scrolling TikTok until 2 AM, drinking more wine than usual.

What's actually happening: Your baseline coping strategies were designed for normal stress. But what you're experiencing now requires different tools.

When this suggests therapy: When healthy coping strategies stop working and you're shifting toward avoidance or numbing, it's time to build new skills with professional support.

Sign #3: The Same Patterns Keep Repeating

Same relationship problems, different person. Same work conflicts, different job. Same triggers, same reactions.

Examples:

• You've had three relationships in a row where you felt "not good enough"
• This is your third job where you have a "toxic boss" (maybe it's about boundaries?)
• Every friendship ends the same way—with you feeling abandoned
• You keep promising yourself you'll set boundaries, but you never do

What's actually happening: You're stuck in patterns you learned a long time ago—patterns that might have helped you survive back then but are hurting you now.

When this suggests therapy: If you keep having the same problems with different people, therapy helps you see the pattern and learn new responses. It's hard to see these patterns from inside them.

Sign #4: Physical Symptoms Without Medical Cause

You've been to your doctor three times. All the tests come back normal. But you still have:

• Chronic tension headaches or migraines
• Stomach issues (IBS-like symptoms) that doctors can't explain
• Insomnia despite trying everything for sleep hygiene
• Muscle tension that won't release
• Racing heart, shortness of breath (but heart is fine)

What's actually happening: Your body is holding stress that your mind hasn't fully processed. Anxiety and unresolved stress often show up physically first.

When this suggests therapy: If your doctor has ruled out medical causes but symptoms persist, therapy (especially approaches like ACT or somatic therapy) can help you address the underlying stress.

Sign #5: You're Snapping at People You Care About

Your partner asks "how was your day?" and you feel rage. Your kid makes a normal kid mistake and you lose it. Your coworker's typing sounds send you over the edge.

You're apologizing more than usual. You don't recognize yourself. Small things are triggering big reactions.

What's actually happening: You're operating at maximum capacity. Your nervous system is in overdrive, and you have zero bandwidth left for normal frustrations. You're one small thing away from a breakdown.

When this suggests therapy: When irritability becomes your default state and you're damaging relationships, therapy helps you regulate your nervous system and process what's overwhelming you.

Sign #6: You Can't Remember the Last Time You Felt Actually Good

You're not depressed—at least, you don't think you are. You're functional. You're going through the motions. But you can't remember the last time you felt good.

Not happy-happy. Just... good. Like you used to feel.

Life feels grey. Not terrible, just... flat. You laugh at jokes but don't really feel joy. You go through your day on autopilot. You're surviving, not thriving.

What's actually happening: This is sometimes called "languishing"—the space between depression and flourishing. You're not struggling enough to recognize it as a problem, but you're definitely not okay.

When this suggests therapy: You don't need to wait until you're in crisis. Therapy works best before you hit rock bottom. If you can't remember feeling good, that's enough reason to reach out.

Sign #7: People in Your Life Are Worried About You

One person expressing concern? Maybe they're overreacting. But when multiple people in your life have said something—your partner, your best friend, a coworker, your mom—it's worth paying attention.

What they might be noticing:

• You've withdrawn from social situations you used to enjoy
• Your personality has changed (you're quieter, more irritable, less yourself)
• You look exhausted all the time
• You're not taking care of yourself the way you used to

What's actually happening: Sometimes the people who love us see changes we can't see ourselves. They notice the shift before we do.

When this suggests therapy: If three or more people have asked "are you okay?" in the past few months, trust that they're seeing something real.

When Therapy Might Not Be the Right Fit (Yet)

Real talk: Therapy isn't the right fit for everyone at every moment. Sometimes other forms of support are more appropriate. Here's when I'd suggest exploring other options first.

Scenario #1: You Need a Doctor, Not a Therapist

If you're experiencing:

• Sudden personality changes that came out of nowhere
• New physical symptoms (weight changes, sleep changes, energy changes)
• Memory problems or confusion

Recommendation: Rule out medical issues first. Thyroid problems, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiencies, and other medical conditions can look like mental health issues. See your doctor for a physical before booking therapy.

Scenario #2: You Need a Crisis Service, Not Weekly Therapy

If you're experiencing:

• Active thoughts of self-harm or suicide
• Substance abuse that's out of control
• Immediate safety concerns

Recommendation: Weekly therapy isn't the right level of care. You need crisis support now:

• Call or text 988 (Canada Suicide Prevention Service) – 24/7
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 686868
• ConnexOntario Mental Health Helpline: 1-866-531-2600
• Or go to your nearest hospital emergency department

Scenario #3: Your Life Circumstances Need to Change First

Sometimes therapy isn't the first step:

• If you're in an abusive relationship, you need safety planning before processing trauma
• If you're facing extreme financial crisis, you need practical support (social services, food banks, housing support)
• If you're severely isolated, you might need connection before therapy

Recommendation: Address immediate safety and basic needs first. Many therapists can help you create a safety plan or connect you with resources, but therapy works best when your basic needs are met.

Scenario #4: You're Going Because Someone Else Wants You To

Your partner is pressuring you. Your mom thinks you need therapy. Your friend keeps sending you therapist links.

But you don't see a problem. You don't feel ready. You don't want to work on anything.

The truth: Therapy only works when YOU want it. Going because someone else wants you to usually doesn't work—you'll resist, you won't be honest, and you'll waste time and money.

Recommendation: It's okay to not be ready. You can revisit this in 6 months. If the relationship pressure continues, couples therapy (where both people participate) might be more helpful than individual therapy you don't want.

"But I Can't Afford Therapy..."

This is the most common barrier I hear. Cost is real. Therapy in Ontario typically costs $150-200 per session, which is not accessible for everyone.

But here are actual options that don't involve paying full price out of pocket:

Option #1: Check Your Extended Health Benefits

Most employer health plans cover $500-2,500 per year for therapy. Many people don't realize they have this coverage.

How to check:

• Look for "mental health services" or "psychotherapy" in your benefits booklet
• Call the number on your benefits card and ask about coverage
• Check if you need a doctor's referral (usually you don't)

Tip: If you have $1,000 coverage and sessions are $175, that's 5-6 sessions covered. That's often enough to see meaningful progress on a specific issue.

Need more details? I wrote a complete guide on extended health benefits and how to maximize them: Extended Health Benefits 101: How to Use Your Insurance for Therapy (coming soon – subscribe to be notified when published)

Option #2: Ontario's Free and Low-Cost Options

When therapy IS free in Ontario:

• OHIP covers: Psychiatrist appointments (but wait times are long)
• Structured Psychotherapy Program: Free short-term CBT for depression (ask your doctor for referral)
• Community Health Centres: Sliding scale fees based on income
• University/College Training Clinics: $20-50/session with supervised students

Complete breakdown: I explain all of Ontario's free and low-cost therapy options in detail here: Is Therapy Free in Canada? A Complete Guide to Mental Health Coverage in Ontario (coming soon)

Option #3: Self-Help Resources That Actually Work

If you truly can't access professional support right now, these evidence-based resources can help:

Apps (free or low-cost):

• MindShift (free): CBT-based anxiety management from Anxiety Canada
• MoodMission (free): Suggests specific activities based on how you're feeling
• Calm or Headspace ($): Meditation and sleep support

Workbooks:

• "Feeling Good" by David Burns: CBT for depression ($15-20) – as effective as therapy for some people
• "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris: ACT therapy workbook ($18-25)
• "Mind Over Mood" by Greenberger & Padesky: CBT workbook ($25-30)

Support groups (free):

• NAMI Canada: Peer support groups for mental health
• DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance): Virtual and in-person groups
• AA/NA: For substance use support

My Sliding Scale Offer

I also offer a limited number of sliding-scale spots for Ontario residents. If cost is your only barrier—you know you need therapy, you're ready to do the work, but you genuinely can't afford full price—reach out for a free consultation. We'll figure out what's possible.

Common Questions About Starting Therapy

Is it normal to be nervous about therapy?

Absolutely yes. Feeling nervous about starting therapy is completely normal. Many people worry about:

• Being judged by the therapist
• Opening up to a complete stranger
• Whether it will actually help
• What you're "supposed" to talk about
• Whether you're "broken enough" to be there

The reality: What actually happens in a first session is much less intimidating than most people imagine. It's mostly a conversation where the therapist gets to know you, what's been going on, and what you're hoping to work on. You're in control of what you share and how fast you go.

How do I know if a therapist is right for me?

Finding the right therapist is about "fit"—do you feel heard, understood, and safe with this person?

What to look for:

• You feel comfortable being honest with them
• They seem to "get" what you're saying without you having to over-explain
• They challenge you in ways that feel supportive, not critical
• You leave sessions feeling like you learned something or gained clarity

What doesn't matter as much as you think: Whether they have a PhD vs a Master's degree. Credentials matter less than fit and approach. A therapist with a Master's in Social Work who really gets you will be more helpful than a PhD who doesn't.

Red flags vs normal discomfort:

• Red flag: They talk about themselves constantly or make sessions about them
• Normal: Feeling uncomfortable when they point out a pattern you haven't seen
• Red flag: They judge you or make you feel shame
• Normal: Feeling vulnerable when you open up about difficult things

Important: It's okay to "date around." Trying 2-3 therapists before finding the right one is completely normal. Most therapists offer free consultations so you can get a sense of their style before committing.

What if therapy doesn't work for me?

Sometimes therapy doesn't work on the first try, and that's okay. Here's why it might not work—and what to do about it:

Reason #1: Wrong therapist fit
Sometimes you just don't click with a therapist. That doesn't mean therapy doesn't work—it means that therapist isn't right for you. Try someone else.

Reason #2: Wrong timing
Sometimes you're not ready. Maybe you're not in a place where you can be vulnerable, or other life circumstances need to settle first. It's okay to take breaks and try again later.

Reason #3: Wrong modality
There are different types of therapy (CBT, ACT, psychodynamic, EMDR, etc.). If one approach doesn't work, a different one might. For example, some people find CBT too structured, but ACT feels more flexible and natural.

The truth: Therapy working depends on three things being right:

1. The right therapist (someone you trust and connect with)
2. The right approach (a modality that matches your needs)
3. The right timing (you're ready and able to engage)

If therapy didn't work before, it doesn't mean it will never work. It might just mean one of those three things wasn't aligned.

Can I do therapy if I'm already on medication?

Short answer: Yes! And research shows it's actually better.

Medication + therapy is more effective than either alone for many conditions like depression and anxiety. Here's why:

• Medication helps stabilize symptoms (reduces intensity of depression, anxiety, etc.)
• Therapy helps you develop skills (coping strategies, thought patterns, behavioral changes)
• Together, they work synergistically – medication gives you bandwidth to do therapy work, therapy gives you tools to eventually reduce or manage without medication

What to do:

• Tell your therapist what medications you're taking (they won't judge, they just need to know)
• Coordinate with your prescriber (doctor or psychiatrist) – your therapist can communicate with them if you give permission
• Be honest about side effects or if medication isn't working – your therapist can help you advocate with your doctor

Important: Never stop medication without talking to your prescriber, even if therapy is going well. Work with both professionals to create a plan.

How long will I need to be in therapy?

It depends on what you're working on, but here are some general guidelines:

Short-term (8-20 sessions):

• Recent-onset anxiety or depression
• Specific workplace stress or career issues
• Learning coping skills for a particular problem
• Life transitions (breakup, job change, becoming a parent)

Medium-term (20-40 sessions):

• Long-standing anxiety or depression
• Relationship patterns you want to change
• Processing past trauma
• Complex workplace or identity issues

Ongoing (6+ months):

• Deep-rooted patterns from childhood
• Complex trauma or PTSD
• Major personality or behavioral changes
• Ongoing support for chronic mental health conditions

What's realistic: Many people see significant improvement in 12-20 sessions when working on a specific issue. You and your therapist will set goals together and check in regularly on progress.

Important: You're not locked in forever. You can do short-term therapy, take a break, and come back later if needed. Many people do "maintenance" therapy—monthly check-ins after intensive work is done.

What's the difference between a therapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist in Ontario?

This is confusing because there are multiple types of mental health professionals. Here's the breakdown:

Registered Psychotherapist (RP):

• Master's degree in counselling, social work, or related field
• Registered with CRPO (College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario)
• Can provide psychotherapy (talk therapy)
• Cannot prescribe medication
• Cost: $120-200/session (often covered by extended health benefits)

Psychologist (C.Psych):

• PhD or PsyD in psychology
• Registered with CPO (College of Psychologists of Ontario)
• Can provide therapy AND psychological testing/assessment
• Cannot prescribe medication (in most provinces)
• Cost: $180-250/session (often covered by extended health benefits)

Psychiatrist (MD):

• Medical doctor with specialty in psychiatry
• Can prescribe medication
• Often focus on medication management more than therapy
• Cost: Free (covered by OHIP) but wait times are very long

Social Worker (RSW):

• Master's in Social Work
• Registered with OCSWSSW
• Can provide therapy
• Cannot prescribe medication
• Cost: $100-180/session (often covered by extended health benefits)

Which one do you need?

• For talk therapy: RP, psychologist, or social worker (all can provide effective therapy)
• For medication: Psychiatrist or your family doctor
• For psychological testing (ADHD, autism, learning disabilities): Psychologist

The truth: For most people seeking therapy, the specific credential matters less than the therapist's approach, experience with your issue, and whether you feel comfortable with them.

The Bottom Line: You Don't Need to Have It All Figured Out

If you made it this far, here's what I want you to remember:

• You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Early intervention works better than waiting until you're at rock bottom.
• Cost barriers have solutions. Extended health benefits, community health centres, sliding scale, self-help resources—there are options even if you can't afford full price.
• The quiz is a starting point, not a diagnosis. If your score suggested therapy might help, that's information—not a label.
• Trusting your gut matters. If something in you is saying "I think I need help," that's worth listening to.

The fact that you're reading this article and took the quiz? That's actually a really good sign. It means you're paying attention to your well-being. That's half the battle right there.

You don't need to have everything figured out before reaching out. That's actually what therapy helps you do—figure things out. You just need to be willing to start the conversation.